I lost my two feed readers yesterday, and I was surprised today at how yucky that made me feel. I didn’t quite want to cry, but it was disheartening. I was using my Feedburner count as validation. “Hey, as long as one person besides me is reading it, then it is worth my time.”

Now it’s just me, and I had to think about whether this is really a good idea or not.

I’ve only been blogging for a month. I’ve only got eight legitimate comments, and probably half are me replying to visitor comments. My big visit day was a week ago, and all 11 visits came from Brazil. I’m questioning the validity of those visitors.

My bounce rate (the number of people who only come to look at the front page and then leave) is 66%, and the average time on site is 48 seconds. All added together, none of this looks really good. It’s discouraging, and I’d be honest if I didn’t way that a part of me wants to quit.

But that part isn’t as big as it used to be, and that feels like progress to me. I need to be honest with myself – this is my first month of blogging, and I can’t expect miracles over night. Also, I really love writing. This blog is something I really look forward to doing every evening now, and when the brief thought flew through my head that maybe I should just quit while I was ahead and maybe start over when I had nailed a few more of the tips in Erica’s Blog Success Manifesto, I psychologically cringed away from it.

Let me be more honest here about my blog – I don’t have a really solid idea of what my topic, or theme is here. Some days I think it’s planning, other days it’s about outstanding people who rejected the mold and forged their own path. Some times it feels like a personal blog, which ultimately is probably how other people view it.

And I think that’s my biggest problem right now. I have a voice. I know that’s a strength of mine. But I am not confident about what I know, and what I have to contribute to the world at large. It seems to me like everyone else has said it before, and said it better, or knows more about the subject. What really can I add to the blogosphere? What is my point of difference?

When I sort those things out, I believe my confidence will show through, and readers will come. (“If you build it, they will come.” -Field of Dreams) It doesn’t work the other way around, though. I’m not going to get the visitors first, although I’m sure to gain more confidence the more people who are interested in what I write.

Whew, okay, I feel better now. Reassured and back on track – or back to finding my track. One of those things. :)