Tag overwhelmed

Head in the Sand

It is perfectly normal for people to get overwhelmed. It’s like nature’s way of saying, “Hold on there, Cowboy (or girl), you’ve got too much on your plate! Time to cut it down a tad, pardner!”

Or something like that.

But being overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, well, that’s not good at all.

Recently I was paid an absurd amount of money to do something simple for someone else. The task had been lurking for this person, and as it lurked, it took on monstrous proportions. It had gone from a simple, 30-45 minute gathering exercise to a “I have no idea what’s going on and I’m scared so I’m just going to do nothing, so there!” kind of thing.

I got the instructions, then told the person to go away and take deep breaths while I took care of it. Problem solved.

It was easy for me to just do it, because I hadn’t developed the emotional baggage over the past month, dreading the task, avoiding the task, making the task seem worse than it actually was. But for the other person, it really was a block. They just couldn’t get it done.

My advice?

Really, when you’ve made a mountain out of a molehill and you know it, you’re in a good spot. You can turn to your neighbor and say, “Slap me, chuckles, and get me back on track.” Or you can do it to yourself. Come on, just dump that glass of ice water on your head (being outdoors or in a bathtub first would be advised). Snap out of it. As I say to my son, “Buck up, kiddo, and just do it.”

It seems horribly callous to say this. I mean, what about all those people who just can’t do it? There are times when I get so apprehensive about something that it just stops me from doing it, too. What am I supposed to do about it? I just can’t do it, that’s all…

What’s that word again? “Can’t”?

Never heard of it.

Don’t give up. Never, ever give up.

And don’t define “can’t”.
- me

Photo by Jenny Rollo

Bottlenecking Your Life – Traffic as a Metaphor

Traffic JamI drive daily on a fairly busy highway, and rush hour is never great. This week it was particularly bad. Traffic has been slow when I get on the highway and it only slows down more the closer everyone gets to the next on ramp. I don’t go far enough to see it open up, but I know that by the end of the downtown exits, traffic will clear up again.

That’s sort of like life. It can bottleneck when you’ve got too many things getting on your highway and not enough things getting off. Work projects, volunteering, ideas, commitments…they can add up before you know it, but the cost can be high.

Some people seem to thrive on being busy every moment of every day. I personally am not one of those people. In fact, I don’t see a lot of those people around me. I am in a position to hear a lot of complaints, and when things get intense, I hear people complain. I see them start to get sick. I watch some get so stressed they need medication to alleviate the frustration.

Set Speed Limits

For these people, I have a few words of advice. Let’s start with “when to say when”. It’s like with alcohol. You have to know your limit, and you can’t consume more than your body can tolerate, or it will make you sick.

Contrary to popular belief for some people, me included on occasion, it’s not the end of the world when you have to tell someone “no”. You can’t always help run the bake sale, especially when you’ve already got a yearbook meeting scheduled on the same day as your major project is due at work. Sure, maybe you could pull it off. But how late will you be up the night before preparing? How much sleep will you really get when you are worrying about what you need to take out the door with you, what you absolutely can’t forget, and then actually get up to get that thing so not only are you not sleeping with worry, you’re not sleeping because you’re actually working?

Move the Accidents Out of the Way

Everyone has a point at which they lose all patience. Maybe it’s an idea that’s been trickling through your head that went from waterfall to leaky sink. Or perhaps you were asked to be on a committee that gets absolutely nothing accomplished because of all the gossip – or bickering. All you want to do is run away!

Well then, it’s okay to drop something that isn’t helping you or anyone else. Why should you keep dragging around a dead weight that is only causing you stress and frustration? Trust me – virtually no committee meeting, brochure, deadline, or brownie bake-off is worth an ulcer.
Clear your road. You know there are things on your plate that you don’t need. Maybe it’s even something you really want, but there are other obligations that need to come first. Set it aside. The icky stuff moves faster when you can focus on it, and you get to move on to the good stuff all the sooner.

When You Are At the Perfect Speed, Don’t Add More Traffic!

There is a place at which you can finally breathe, and when you find it, don’t you dare let it go by suddenly adding a million things back to your schedule. Just because you have breathing room and are able to sit down in the evenings with a good book doesn’t mean that it is a signal that you’re not doing enough. Not needing to eat a roll of antacids is a good thing.

Taking on one new project (or idea, or other commitment) at a time, after you’ve just completed a previous one, is a great idea. A nice, steady flow will ensure a better night’s rest, less stress, and generally a happier life overall.

Now how do I beat this lesson into my friends (in a kind and gentle, yet firm manner) so they actually do it?

You Know You’ve Taken On Too Many Projects When…

Right now my brain is running at a level more suited for where I was in life ten years ago. I have ideas for so many projects, but a severely limited time to execute them in.

I want to learn how to design with WordPress, and come up with a completely custom theme.

I want to learn how to sew, and make my own curtains for the house.

I want to write every evening at least 500-1000 words to prepare for National Novel Writing Month in November, when I’ll have to be writing 2000 words per day.

I want to build a successful blog with more than two visitors per day.

And that’s not even the projects that involve my family. Those are the projects that I have three hours a day for, after everyone goes to bed.

I also want to read to my son and daughter every night, so they grow to love reading as much as I do.

I want to go to bed early once in a while with DH, who falls asleep with the kids.

I want to help my son with his homework, and take him to Boy Scouts, and live through church on Sundays.

Some of these things I can do, but not all of them at once. How does one decide, then, what is the most important? Obviously, family comes first. And taking care of myself and doing things I enjoy is important as well – I’ve seen what happens to people who sacrifice themselves for others all the time.

But where does the line get drawn? I’ll be honest, I don’t have the answer to that question. Everything I want to do right now, everything I’m trying to squeeze in, seems equally important.

Dear Advice Nicki,

I can’t organize my personal projects into the time I physically have available in each day. How do I squeeze in everything I want to do without sacrificing my health or my family?

Sincerely,
Confused Nicki

So, you know you’ve taken on too many projects when you start writing yourself advice letters, and then plan on answering them the next day in your next post to get some perspective.

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plan: to devise or project the realization or achievement of

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