“Dude. What’s wrong with your roommate?”
Una looked at Urusla who was hunched over her laptop, as usual, typing frantically away at who knew what.
Literally. The girl kept a protection screen on like you usually only saw at the doctor’s office so unless you were like two inches away, all you saw was black.
“I have no clue. She’s been doing that ever since I moved in over Christmas break. I tried talking to her, but she just acts like she doesn’t hear. But she keeps her side of the room clean, doesn’t leave crumbs around to attract bugs, so I pretty much just do my thing and she just…”
“Types?”
“Pretty much all day until around two in the morning.” Una held up a black set of serious headphones. “She left these on my bed one morning after I overslept for my class.”
“Wow.”
Una shrugged. “Whatever, Dan. Are we going out, or what?”
“We’re going,” he said, his attention finally back on her.
Where it belonged, Una thought, satisfied.
* * *
Una returned several hours later after a complete date failure. Dan was a sleaze, which she had sort of known when she accepted the date, but she thought maybe he would pretend to be decent at least through dinner.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, which is why she was now sneaking through the dorm with a case of beer she’d rescued from a frat party.
She could hear the tapping from the hall as she came out of the stairwell to her floor. It was Ursula’s familiar rhythm, a sound that Una was now sure she could separate from hundreds of others.
Huh. Maybe she could submit that to a game show or something. “Name That Tap”.
“Hi, Ursula,” she greeted as she closed the door behind her. It was kind of like living with a doll – Una had tried just being quiet, but she felt just as strange trying to ignore her roommate as she found being ignored. So when she caught Ursula smiling once when she told a joke, she assumed the other girl was listening.
“I’ve got beer, if you want one. Still cold. I’m pretty sure the Alpha Gamma Nu Mu Schmoos won’t miss it.”
Without asking, Una reached around and set a beer on Ursula’s coaster. She took her own, opened it, and plopped down on her bed.
“Dan was a complete jerk. He was trying to put his hands where they didn’t belong before we even got seated at the restaurant. I didn’t even get food! So I snagged a case of beer from one of the alphabet parties. I probably ought to order pizza or something. You want pizza?”
Una didn’t wait for an answer. She wasn’t going to get one. Instead she reached for her phone, went to the local pizza website, and ordered enough for both of them.
Everyone liked cheese, right?
“I hate it when men act like they own you, you know? I probably would have slept with him if he’d got me drunk enough. But he couldn’t even wait that long. Honestly.”
Una sighed, wondering what to do until the pizza arrived. For a while she watched Ursula type, and wondered how the woman never seemed to get out of the chair, or pee, or do anything but type, and not weigh like three hundred pounds. She judged her roommate weighed something more like ninety pounds, soaking wet. Her feet barely touched the floor.
She spent about five minutes on her tablet before she got bored of that, too.
“Ursula, what do you know about guys? I mean, I thought I was pretty good with them, but I keep picking up losers here. They’re all boneheads with their heads in the gutter. I probably ought to start picking guys who study well instead of just look good, but I can’t help myself!”
Una’s tirade was interrupted by a knock on their door.
“Who’s that? There’s no way the pizza got here this quickly.”
But that’s exactly who was there.
“Pizza for Ursula?”
Una looked back at her roommate, who of course was not looking up from her computer. “Um, I’ll pay. What kind of pizza is it?”
“Pepperoni and green olive.”
“Let me grab my wallet.”
* * *
Una fell asleep, or fell unconscious, about ten minutes after her last beer. Ursula waited until she was out cold, then finally stopped her typing. She cleaned up the pizza, glad that her friend had enjoyed it. It wasn’t a type she’d ever seen her try before, and she liked the idea of introducing Una to new experiences.
Like men. Ugh, the losers she brought back. It was insane how she could continue to pick such losers. The odds were even in her favor – at some point she was bound to end up with someone decent.
Still, though, the girl obviously needed some help.
Ursula put the rest of the beer cans in the refrigerator, then rinsed and crushed the cans so the R.A. wouldn’t find them. The trash went into a bag that she set by the door.
She doubted that Una would hear her typing tonight.
Ursula used her roommate’s phone to send a text to the boy she’d been studying with lately. Brian was the kind of guy Una needed. Solid, steady, good looking, but quiet. Respectful.
Ursula would date him herself if she wasn’t already unavailable.
After sending the text, an innocent, slightly drunk sounding something that ought to cause the desired outcome in the morning, Ursula went back to her computer.
She began to type.
===
This post of fiction is part of the April A to Z Blogging Challenge. I’m doing short stories, about 1,000 words, based on words I like that start with today’s letter. Don’t forget to check out the participant list to check out other amazing bloggers blogging about today’s letter!
