Off the Beaten Plan

When I was a child, I always knew that changing my name when I got married was something I wanted. My last name, while short, is a variation on a common English word, and so when giving my name to people I usually need to spell it out. I looked forward to the time when I would have a different last name, a part of my husband to carry around like a badge of honor.

I met DH in 1996, the sweetest man in the world from a very good German Catholic family. With that history, he also has a very German last name (think “Michelle Pfeiffer”) that was never changed to something easier when his ancestors came over from the homeland. Having always had to spell his last name as well (with much higher frustration levels with constant misspellings) his lifelong dream was also to change his last name.

Doh!

When he proposed (it was very romantic), we began to talk about the whole Name Thing in earnest. In Iowa, the woman can not only choose to keep her name or take her husband’s, but the man can choose to keep his name or take his wife’s name, or the couple can even choose something entirely different and unrelated.

Guess which option we chose?

At the time I wasn’t thrilled with keeping my name – however as time has gone on, it’s actually a lot of fun. Nobody I’ve encountered yet has known someone who took his wife’s name when they married. Talking about my parents, who of course have our last name as well, draws strange stares and I’m sure some brief thoughts of insane odds or weird, back-hill relationships between cousins.

When planning your own wedding, be sure to learn about the options you have regarding your name when marrying. It may not only be Iowa that allows the variety of name changes when filling out your marriage certificate at no extra cost, and you may just be able to have that name you always wanted!

Post inspired by the U.S. government blog.